Click here for more clips of Alas Smith & Jones, the British comedy sketch TV series.
We honour thee, Beelzebub
August 10, 2009I asked for a peppermint, I asked her to get one
August 10, 2009If you don’t understand the header, don’t worry. This post isn’t really about peppermints, as far as you know. It’s about horrible and stupid acts, and what causes them.
With or without intent, at some point everybody does something horrible or at least really, really stupid, right? But hey! When it happens to you, just remember that there’s got to be a very simple explanation. Like if you listened to heavy metal music.. with subliminal messages! Aaaah! The cunning ways of SATAN and his disciples. . Of course they’d make heavy metal music with messages that you can only hear if you play it in reverse. Only your subconscience can percieve it. It’s ridiculously unbelievable, yes, but that’s exactly the pure evil genious of it.
Judas Priest almost got busted in 1999, after a pair of teenage kids had attempted to blow their silly little heads off with a shotgun. For one of the kids the task proved too complicated. He survived and with his parents decided to sue Judas Priest, accusing them of intentionally putting a reverse message saying “Do it!” into their song Better By You, Better Than Me. (Apparently nobody ever questioned wether the “It” meant “kill yourself”. Instead of for example “eat a squirrel”.) Eventually the evil satanworshipping heavy metal bastards got off the hook, because they – devious as they are – had also put a harmless reverse message about peppermints into the song.
It’s my favorite US court case story:
(There’s a documentary on Youtube as well, called Daydream Deceivers, which goes a lot further in depth with the case.)
For some reason many of the stories about horrible and/or really, really stupid acts take place in the USA. And a lot of them seem to end up in court cases. Some of which amazingly entertaining and ludicrous. Such as the famous story about a woman who tried to dry her cat in the microwave. To her surprise it died. This time nobody sued Judas Priest. But she sued the microwave company for not having a warning in their manual saying “do not put alive animals in the microwave”. As the story goes, she won the case.
There are a lot of these type of court case stories to be found if you google around a bit. Here’s one link. And another.
I think in the Judas Priest case, the prosecutor made a terrible mistake by playing samples of the satanic peppermint messages. In his verdict the judge had clearly himself become a freshly recruited brainwashed disciple of SATAN, saying that when playing any recordings of human speech backwards, there will be sound that can be interpreted as sentences, but that this was “purely coincidental”. But us decent churchgoing people who only listen to Burt Bacharach and Celine Dijon, we know that it was those evil heavy metal SATAN worshippers Judas Priest who were the real culprits.
Welcome to my blog
August 6, 2009This is a page for the whole family to enjoy. It’s not about drinking large bowls of festering pig vomit at all. And it is in no way the aim of this page to brainwash people with communist propaganda making them plan revolutions followed by anarchy, drinking, fornication, murder, cannabis-smoking, bingo and chaos. People appearing on this page would never even consider using disgusting swear-words like shiteating twat bastard, assramming hamster fucker, or Anders Fogh Rasmussen. There will be no hidden satanic messages subconsciously making you think that killing everybody and yourself might be a good idea. Nor will there be any pictures of people having foul, unnatural sex, or even natural – i.e. married couples in missionary position with lights off. And certainly there will not be even the vaguest mentioning of anyone performing sodomy on rotting dead decapitated poodles with herpes around the anus at all.
So, rest assured that this is a decent blog for good clean law abiding church-going citizens, who have all been lobotomized and castrated.
Sincerely yours most humble and obedient servant
AAge Jaeger
Don’t you just fucking love internet debates?
August 4, 2009
It’s upon us – the internet revolution all the experts have predicted. The biggest victory for democracy in the western world since TV and karaoke: Internet debate!
The best thing about it is that it’s ruled by the vast majority: Morons who don’t know and don’t care what other people think, but who just want to tell them all what they should think. All kinds of issues are constantly being dissolved into endless discussions on minor points and personal and general insults. It’s participatory democracy at it’s best. If you don’t agree, it’s because you are a retard and a loser, and you need to get a life.
Underneath is a youtube clip of some ignorant americans. Funny in itself but what’s even more funny is the debate going on in the “comments” section. About wether or not the US is the greatest country in the world, and how many of the people in the US are ignorant. (Some say none, others say all. Seems like the one’s who think it’s about 50-50 aren’t participating) 220,634 brilliant comments! Three examples:
- there are 359 Billionaires in the USA, no wonder USA is the world’s greatest, richest and best country in the world. Poor Eurotrash, Chinks, and dirty canucks are jealous of America’s riches and wealth. oops Murdoch already left that shit hole
- what the hell do you want, you’re a Canadian. Anyway, Asians have the highest average IQ, then europeans, and then you. Why? Because you have all kinds of trash ir your country(…)
- All these Eurotrash idiots spending time developing videos like “Fuck the USA” “Americans are retarded” etc. are losers with no life. You hate America because we’re the worlds superpower – You want to know why these people don’t know how many provinces are in Britain? Because no one gives a shit! America is more important – that’s why everyone knows our states, anthem, etc. Lol, you’re our bitches – saved europes ass in both world wars, france in vietnam, bow down useless fucks!
Some tips for a succesful internet debate:
- Exaggerate and generalize as much as possible
- Be factually inaccurate
- Never defend your argument but keep attacking the opponent’s argument
- Claim that you work in whatever field you’re arguing about
- Type all or most of your comments in big letters. “WTF is ur problem AZZ HOLE!!?”
- Tell your opponent that he is a “LOSER”, and a “RETARD” and should “GET A LIFE”
- Draw comparison between opponent and Adolf Hitler
- Always be the last person to comment. Whoever gets the last comment, wins the debate
Chuck Norris
July 28, 2009Click here to watch Chuck Norris kick some ass
Women can't resist him because of his beard, big muscles and large amount of body hair, and the fact that he never cries.
Determination and discipline are keywords for martial arts expert Chuck Norris.
One thing Chuck Norris can and will not tolerate, is a bully who don't respect authority. He will hunt you down and stare at you with his fists clenched. Then, unless you get on your knees and beg for mercy, he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
If he sees a grizzly bear, he attacks.
He works out for two hours every day on his exercise machine system "Total Gym" which he invented himself.
Chuck Norris is a 6 times karate world champion. He invented his own martial art: Chun Kuk Do. And he holds an 8th degree Black Belt Grand Master recognition in the Tae Kwon Do martial arts system.
Bottom
July 25, 2009
Click to see the some of the ultraviolence of Bottom
A pair of revolting, vicious, perverted and arrogant flatmates. Named Richard Richard and Eddie Hitler. Living in a filthy flat in Hammersmith. With no jobs and no money, always planning retarded schemes to get money or sex, if not beating the crap out of each other with anything from household implements to heavy industrial machinery.
Bottom is a british sitcom of the early 1990′s, written by and starring Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson. Both known from the 80′s sitcom The Young Ones. Bottom ran for three series, each consisting of six episodes.
Funny youtube clips
July 25, 2009Hey.. don’t read my posts. I havent got anything intelligent to say. Go to the index page and watch some of the youtube-clips in the menu on the right. Most of the clips are from stuff I find funny.
I’m against it
July 15, 2009I’m a ridiculous idiot who’s against everything and everybody. You name it, I’m against it.
Every single philosophical, political, religious and/or moral doctrine or belief system ever invented.
I also hate hippies. Very much. And politicians, christians, yuppies, cops, priests…
And I especially hate people who think they’re clever and fashionable. With their know-it-all attitude, fashion clothes and cell phones. Rich, narrowminded, self-satisfied twats. Living according to what’s customary, avoiding any kind of change or independent thought. Always yapping on about things you obviously know nothing about. .
Fuck the lot of you! With all due respect.
The whole question of what is going on
July 14, 2009So you may think it’s very easy for me to just be against everything. But then what? You may ask. How should we live our lives and why? What’s the point? Before we can answer these questions I think that first we should examine the whole question of what is going on. I’ll leave it to the most brilliant team of philosophers ever in history: Monty Python
